If you have landed on this page, chances are you are among those keep asking this same question all over again- will I be single forever?
And you have ended up on this page for quite the obvious reason- to get a negative but encouraging answer.
However, we are not going to give you just that (you know us). Following the proven successful formula, we have decided to play detectives once again and we discovered plenty of things that you might be interested in.
Stay with us to find out the whole mystery behind being single. Find out what are the best places to look for other singles and plenty of other useful tips and tricks.
Being Single is Sad? Or Bad?
The first thing that you need to define is how do YOU feel about being single.
Does it bother you? Does it make you feel sad or depressed?
Or quite the contrary:
Do you enjoy it? Do you like that great dose of liberty which comes with that status?
While some people would say that not being involved in a romantic relationship is the saddest thing to imagine, others simply don’t mind.
So, the shortest answer to whether being single is sad or bad would be- none of the two, but the only if you are okay with that.
We all have different phases in our life, during some we simply like having someone to share joy and sadness with. On the other hand, there are days (or months) when we simply like being on our own.
Based on our thought and feelings we decide whether we want or don’t want to have someone nearby, and whatever the decision is- it’s the one you’ve made, and no one has the right to judge you!
Single vs Alone – Same or Not?
The next thing that creates plenty of confusion is the difference between these two terms.
The majority of people make the same mistake over and over again.
When someone mentions being single, they make that saddest face ever (add some violin in the background, please), and pity on that “poor” person by saying: “Oh, my! You must have been so alone!”.
That’s one of biggest prejudices EVER!
Being single doesn’t mean you are sitting among the soft pillows, eyes bathed in tears, hugging a plush toy and watching some melancholy movies.
Being single doesn’t mean you are alone, it’s just that you don’t have a partner at the moment! And the reason you are not having one doesn’t necessarily have some unhappy background.
If you are a person of many interests, you will have a multiverse of great and creative ideas on how to spend time and there won’t be moments where you feel alone.
Even if you are in a phase where you feel a bit downhearted because you have had some sad experience, or broke up recently, essentially- you are not alone.
Besides, some friends of yours must have been waiting to invite you for a coffee or take you to the cinema. There are many interesting concerts and lectures all over the town, as well.
The list could go on and on, but you get the point- being single and alone are two utterly different things!
Four Quick Tips for Post-Break up Period
This is probably the most difficult “form” (to say so) of being single, as during such upsetting occasions many people tend to feel like they will be all alone till the rest of their life.
(Note: Add a bunch of cats and dogs around that sad single, for the sake of spicing the scene up with more sadness!)
Jokes aside (you see how we do our best to keep high-spirits and cheer you up), but after you have split up, the next thing to do ASAP is to find the best and the quickest way to get out of that phase.
Crying is helpful, so feel free to do so and after the catharsis, here’s WHAT you need to do:
1. Get over the EX
The relationship is over, face it. You might have tried to save it, or haven’t, whatever, but you are no longer with that person.
Keep thinking what could have been done to save it or change it won’t be of help if you are no longer in a relationship with that person, so get over him/her.
Try to look things this way- present (and future) is much more important than the past.
If you are not moving from past experiences, you may harm your future relationships, as it may push other people away from you.
This minimizes and even eliminates the chances to meet someone new because there will always be that negative aura around you where your thoughts are constantly occupied with your ex.
If you keep on continuously thinking of what’s behind you, you might reach a negative point where you won’t be able to see what’s in front of you.
This is where you risk being single forever if you don’t change the attitude and move on, so better change that on time.
2. Give other people a chance!
We are not saying that you should end up in the new relationship the same moment the previous one is over, that could even be counterproductive.
Even if you may be feeling like you are never going to date someone again, never give up hope, as that’s the last thing to die.
Give yourself (and those interested in meeting you) the chance to have a pleasurable time, be it theater, walk, a glass of wine in the local bar, whatever.
Be open for new acquaintances and who knows, you might end up meeting your true love, or perhaps the best friend you have ever met, it’s life, and it’s full of surprises.
You know how people say- just open your heart to other people. Before you realize it, someone might just sneak in and stay forever.
Let someone love you and allow yourself to be loved by other people.
3. Never compare people you meet with your ex!
If someone has become the “ex” person in our life, there must be a helluva good reason for that. Sometimes even plenty of reasons.
When someone starts showing interest in you, the last thing to do is compare that person to someone you have been with.
Some things are better left in the past, because that’s where they should stay forever, and yours is to move on and let go.
You are going to have a hard time finding someone to love if you keep on comparing everyone you meet with your past lovers. Clear your mind and heart and let go of the past.
What you should do instead is shift focus, instead of being trapped in the past, think about your present and the future.
4. Don’t fall in love with every person you meet!
Being the one who recently terminated a relationship can have another scenario- fearing that you will be alone for the rest of your life, you keep craving for love and attention from everyone you meet.
What comes as a logical, but unfortunately not so desirable outcome is that you fall in love with everyone you meet.
That’s a huge NO-NO!
No matter how hard it may be, as during such a phase everyone loves attention and warm feelings, try to resist it.
You don’t want the interested ones to think that you are desperate for love, and an attitude like that where you fall head over heels in love with everyone who shows the interest in you could create such an impression.
You know that good old “Love at first sight”, don’t you?
Well, even though it sounds sweet and romantic, it’s not the scenario you want in this specific situation. Try to be reasonable, at least until you feel that you are no longer vulnerable.
The Best Ways to Spend “Being Single” Phase
Even though oceans of tears and laments are what usually comes first when one breaks up, there are so many excellent ways to use the time you have, until the next partner appears.
Here are some of the ideas:
When the crying phase is over (and do your best to cut it short), go out and meet people.
Again, we are not saying- go out and find your next partner the same evening, but simply create new friendships, spend time with a person or group of people who make you feel good.
We all have those friends we haven’t heard for a long, long time, and this phase is more than an excellent one to grab the phone and see if they are in the mood for casual Friday-night walk around the city.
Some people occupy themselves with work (which is also a fine option), but having a fulfilled social life is what matters more when one is in such a delicate phase.
The most important thing is finding a healthy balance between your feelings and reality, and avoid extreme situations.
So, no party all day and night long, but neither locking yourself in the house for a month.
Single and ready to mingle, that’s what this is all about.
2. Work on yourself and your personality!
We all have those days when we say “I wish I could change this habit.” or “I never have time for myself.” and similar.
Being single gives you enough time to work on yourself and change those habits or annoying traits that bother you.
This will not only make you feel better but will be like a powerful magnet to attract other people.
The stressful experience of splitting up surely changed you significantly, and you ended up with some useful knowledge and new characteristics that strengthened you as a person-so embrace those!
On the other hand, you also ended up with some negative feelings and thoughts and you wouldn’t like those becoming your permanent characteristics, would you?
So, try making some sort of “to-do” list, think of the procedure like some sort of spring cleaning, and have fun rearranging yourself.
Once the self-improvement procedure is done, you’ll end up with a much better version of yourself, the one you will surely like even more.
And as a consequence of being satisfied with yourself, other people will like and love you even more.
3. Find some time for your intimate side!
For whatever reason, people often forget about some special pleasures and become detached from themselves while being in a lengthy relationship.
That’s wrong by all means because those things are the major threats that usually lead to breakups, if not corrected on time.
But, when one is single, there’s more than enough time to remind yourself what makes you particularly happy, and excited.
We are talking that special moments with yourself.
Knowing yourself, your mind and body is the most solid foundation to create a healthy relationship.
4. Try something you haven’t tried before!
It doesn’t necessarily have to be something too extreme like bungy jumping, but instead of turning into a couch potato and trap yourself into a boring routine, be more proactive.
The world is full of interesting activities waiting for you to discover them so don’t lose a minute.
There’s surely something you have always wanted to try out, but you either didn’t have enough time, you were afraid, or whatever else.
Now, when there are no excuses, feel free to delve into an adventure.
The Adventure Begins- Where to Look for (and Find) the Next Partner?
Come to think of it, the ideal scenario would be the one seen in the movies- your eyes meet, you fall in love with each other, get married, live happily ever after, rainbows and cupcakes and all, but-hey!
We are not in the movie, and the reality can be significantly different from these romantic delusions.
Sometimes things can be smooth, but in other cases, it can be tough.
If you feel that you are ready to give a chance to the new relationship, the first that comes to your mind is where to look for him/her.
There are many places and situations where the potential partner may be and if you haven’t locked yourself into the house, chances are you will see THE person in the supermarket, cinema while walking through the park- anywhere.
Just don’t feel pressured to find one quickly, make room for spontaneous actions.
In case this form of meeting new people looks outdated to you, we have something suitable for you- online dating sites.
Don’t let prejudices and raised eyebrows discourage you, meeting people on the internet is quite legit in these modern times.
There is a multiverse of dating platforms (and we have reviewed tons of them, just for you) and their biggest advantage is the enormous freedom and certain dose on anonymity they give you to explore and decide what suits you the best.
The selection of sites is really impressive and they are designed to cater to various needs and preferences, and what’s best of all, you don’t necessarily have to start dating someone immediately.
You can start communicating with someone who caught your attention and if you don’t feel that it makes sense, find someone else. There are no strings attached, nothing to oblige you to push things if there’s no chemistry between you.
That’s what made daring sites so popular and widespread.
Of course, what you need to have in mind is safety, which is why you need to learn how to behave on such sites and go through Terms and Conditions usually featured on such pages.
That’s the essential step to take to make sure things will run smoothly!
What NOT to Do When Looking for the New One?
The first relationship that comes after being single can be a challenging one, as there are so many mistakes you can make before you even start dating someone.
Here are some of the most common things which you should avoid:
1. Don’t be needy!
Gluing yourself firmly to someone you have just met and following that person everywhere he/she goes is not attractive.
This way the other side may get the impression that you are in desperate need of love and attention, and will run away before you even realize it.
Be more independent and show that even though you are single, you have loads of great ideas on what to do with yourself!
2. Don’t apply the old habits to a new relationship!
You know the situation: “But John and I used to go there every time after the theatre.” or “This is where Mary and I used to drink beer every Wednesday night.”
Who cares what was going on when you were dating John, Mary or whoever else- they are ex!
The new relationship is an excellent opportunity to build some new habits and create special and unique memories with that person, not repeating things you have done with your exes.
Even if you want to visit someplace or engage in some activity which you used to in the previous relationship, at least try being less obvious than this.
3. Don’t expect too much!
Just try being realistic, that’s all! You need to be aware that you deserve love (everyone does), but don’t expect to fall in love immediately.
One of the reasons why people end up being single forever is because of the inadequate standards for a relationship.
They either don’t have them at all, or they set something which is unrealistic and impossible to achieve, and they end up disappointed.
Nobody is perfect and no one will be, and once you accept that, you will have more self-confidence. Not to mention significantly bigger chances to have a successful relationship.
Avoid expecting too much, leave some room for surprises and adjustments, and there should be no problems.
The Perks of Being a Single
We have already listed so many reasons why we are quite assured that you will not be single forever, so stop being afraid.
Humans like to socialize, it’s in our nature to look for someone to have by our side.
But in case that’s what you want, being single, that’s quite fine as well.
Looking things from such perspective, there are many advantages, such as:
- No endless hours of brainstorming on gifts for anniversaries, Valentines and so on.
- You get to choose the place for dinner or the movie for tonight.
- No sleeping on the couch because you have just had a fight.
- Freedom to do whatever you want and whenever you want.
- More time for yourself.
Those who like being in a relationship will see this as a list of disadvantages, as they cannot imagine the scenario where there’s no partner around.
So, what we would point out as the biggest advantage of being single is the opportunity to learn more about yourself.
You will hear many opinions on what you should do, whether being single is good or bad for you, but the most important is that you should never despair if you are single at any point in your life.
Every day is a valuable lesson that helps us learn, grow and build ourselves as persons, and that’s what we should focus on.
The ideal person will appear, sooner or later, and you need to be mentally ready for the new experience.
It all boils down to perspective- and being single should be a matter of your choice, not a sad occasion you ended up in and have no idea how to get out of it.
As soon as you realize this and start believing that it’s the only meaningful perspective to observe things, a variety of doors will open for you.
So, the answer to the big question is – that’s entirely up to you!
Being single has its pros and cons, and so does being in a relationship.
It doesn’t matter, as long as your choice is something that makes you feel happy and satisfied.
We hope our funny and comprehensive guide brought you some new knowledge and ideas, and above all- more faith in yourself.
If the question “will I be single forever” doesn’t evoke some gloomy thoughts in your mind, then we can freely say- mission accomplished!