Well, if you are reading this then you have probably met that cute, funny, smart and pretty girl that you wish to spend more time with and ask her out.
However, there is that daunting step that waits for you and it is asking for her number.
This is why we are writing this and are here to help you! Oh, and congratulations, we are sure you will have that date pretty soon!
Choose “The One”
Asking a girl for her number can be nerve-wracking, and not only that the process itself makes you nervous, but your thoughts and constant questions may make it even worse – “What if she says no?”, “What if she is polite, and can’t say no, but gives me the wrong one?”, “What should I say”, etc..
We’ve all been there, thus, we will try to make this as clear and as simple as possible, because it really is – there is nothing to be that nervous about! J
Before we get to the point, let’s first go over a few things to make sure that you actually wish to get Her number and really like her, so please answer these questions honestly.
Signs you should get her number:
- What does your gut say? If you think that the two of you are on the same wavelength and you feel in your gut that she is special and worth the effort, then you should definitely ask for her number and try hard to win her over.
- A great understanding – If you have an amazing time together, she laughs at your jokes and you feel sparks are flying all around then we say yes, get the number!
- She is on your mind – If you’ve met a girl and keep thinking about her the following days and wish to ask her out on a date since it all comes down to that, then the answer is yes.
Signs you shouldn’t get her number:
If you fancy several girls, it doesn’t mean that you should get a number from each one of them, because that should be the step you save for the one that really interests you and makes you want to get to know all about her.
It is also important to be fair to a girl, since asking for her number most often means that you are very interested in her and it will let her think that you really like her and wish to deepen that connection.
This is why doing it just for fun will just lead her on and eventually might hurt her feelings. We should be nice and fair to each other after all J
Now, when we have gone over these important facts, let’s get down to it.
Kicking Off Your Conversation
The starting and the most important point is the kick-off of the conversation with her.
It does not matter if you guys go to the same school, gym, language or other lessons, or even if it’s online – one thing is sure and it is that you should approach her.
For instance, you could say: “Hey, I haven’t seen you around here before” if that is the case, or “Hey, how long have you been learning French, you seem pretty good at it” or similar, depending on the situation.
Afterwards, you need to introduce yourself and you could follow up with “I am John by the way, what’s your name?”, or if you have been talking for several minutes already without a proper introduction, then you should introduce yourself by making a short pause.
Open-ended questions are the best way to keep the conversation going and get to know her as much as you can without asking too many short questions – they could make her feel as if being interrogated.
Open-ended questions usually lead conversations in different directions and you never know what valuable information may be brought to light.
For example, you could ask her: “So what did you like the most about this class?”, or “What made you so interested in French”, or “Have you ever been to France?”, etc…
Be sure to listen carefully, angle your body toward her and remove the phone and other distractions from your sight.
It is a big plus if you feel confident, look her in the eyes and make her see that you are listening carefully. This will encourage her to tell you more.
It is known that when one person keeps quiet, the other is naturally inspired to speak to break the silence.
Now, just be careful how you use this since you do not want to come off as timid or boring.
In case you are chatting on social media, you could go through her photos and give them several likes and then ask about them, for example if they were made in a foreign county you could ask where else she traveled, what are her dream destinations, or if she volunteers you could ask her to help you join that organization in case that interests you or just branch off from the photos to any other meaningful topics.
Make sure to share information and stories about yourself to show your softer side, for example, if she volunteers in an animal shelter you could tell her that you love dogs and actually have one, two or more (or wish to have one) and you love playing with them.
This way you will show that you wish to create a deeper connection and meet each other and not just play around.
Flirting is what makes everything so much more fun and knowing how to do it is a piece of art.
However, if you are not that self-confident, don’t know how to do it or are just shy, please do not feel discouraged, since there are baby steps that can be made in order to make you feel better about it.
Here are several examples:
- Look deep into her eyes for 1-2 seconds longer than you would normally do it (but please don’t stare, since it might make her feel awkward).
- Say something funny or maybe even tease her if you get a chance, but keep it light.
For example, if she just joined your gym you could say something like: “I saw a girl earlier today who had no clue how to use several machines. Was that you?”
This might surprise her, but might also make her laugh since she will see how confident you are to say it, but also playful.
- If you are messaging each other make sure to use playful emojis. The one with the wink might send the right message, and that is that you are flirting and that you are interested in her romantically.
Emojis nowadays really affect the tone of the message and let the person know it.
- Break the touch barrier – there might be several opportunities to do so (but please be sure to analyze the situation and how she might react first).
For example, if you are at the gym and she really does not know how to use a machine, you might put your hands above hers to show her, or if you take guitar lessons together, you might touch her lightly while showing her something on her guitar, or if you are exiting someplace, do the “ladies first” trick by letting her go first and touching her back above her waist.
All of these will allow you to see how she reacts to your touch.
- If you are saying goodbye to her, you might hug her and wink casually smiling and saying you look forward to seeing her again. It feels definitely makes her feel nice.
Asking For Her Number
And now, the moment we’ve all been waiting for – the ways how to ask her for her number. J
Don’t ask for, but tell her to give it to you
There are several rules to this game of flirting, getting to know each other and dating and one of them is that you never show yourself as weak.
This is why you shouldn’t ask her for permission to get her phone and the questions like: “Can I…?”, “May I…”, “Is it OK..?” are a NO, because all of these let her know that you need the permission and set you up for rejection.
Questions like these give her the upper hand and let her control the outcome, and this is what we need to avoid.
This is why you need to tell her to give you her number and not let her use your power against you.
So, instead of asking politely for it, you can turn the situation around and say something like: “Hey, I would love to hear more about your travels, but need to go now.
Give me your number so we can continue this via messages” (this might be the girl from your French class, who actually traveled a lot).
You could also say it like this: “Hey, give me your number real quick, in case I don’t see you the next time I come” (if you met her at the gym), etc.
When you use such phrases you will catch her off guard, since she might not be expecting it and will more likely give it to you without further thinking.
A BIG plus is also the fact that you will show that you are self-confident and comfortable being in charge by going after what you wish.
Request her number by asking her on a date
Because having a date with her is probably your ultimate goal, then you should go for it and ask her out.
This way you will clearly show your intentions and interest and will also come off as very confident.
You could say something like: “Hey, I would love to hear more about your travels, my dream is to see the world. We could continue this conversation over dinner or drinks these days. What do you think?”
If she says yes you can say: “Sounds great, give me your number so we can find the best time for it!”
This way requesting her number becomes just a minor logistical detail, instead of a huge deal. She won’t think about it for a second but will give it to you gladly.
If you’ve been messaging her online and feel she is into you as well then she will expect you to ask her out after a while (no one wishes to text for a month without an actual meeting) and you could tell her:
“Hey, I would love to finally meet you and take things offline. Give me your number so we can arrange a proper date”
Tell her you need her number because you really like her
If you see that things are going smoothly, or you are just very self-confident and able to tell her honestly that you like her, you could say something like: “Hey, since we are going on a date next week, I will need your number to arrange it”.
This will throw her off her feet since it shows that you are confident, able to take control and make decisions for both of you and the most importantly honest to show openly show your interest.
You could also say: “Hey, I am starting to really like you and would love to take you on a date. I will just need your number for us to coordinate”.
Offer to send her a link or video to her number
If you are timider and don’t like direct approaches, then you could easily start talking to her about something you think she is not that familiar with.
It could be a video you saw, a song you heard, a link to a poem, whatever you wish.
You can tell her why you think she would like it and when she gets excited about it, you can easily say you can send her the link for it.
For example, if you are in the same guitar class and she likes a certain guitarist it could be a video of an amazing cover of their song and you could say: “Hey, I heard an amazing cover, I am sure you would love it since you already like the song. Actually, I will send it to you right now”.
Then you can take your phone and say: “What’s your number?”
Give her your number first
If you wish to make the first move and encourage her to give you her number, you could go ahead and give her yours first by doing something creative – for example you could take a napkin and write yours down (make sure you have a pen with you) in case you met in a café or at a party and say something like: “For more fun drinks and parties, please call 555-555-555”, and you can be sure that she will love it!
Or if you feel like flirting and openly saying you wish to spend some time alone, in case you are going to the gym together you could say: “For best personal training call 444-444-444”.
Be sure to give her the note personally and see her reaction. If she smiles you could easily say: “I believe it is your turn now”, or “I would love to have yours too”.
If she is unsure or confused, tell her openly that you like her and would love to take her on a date.
The Final Word
These four should do the trick if you use them wisely.
However, be sure to assess the situation, her mood, your surrounding and predict her reaction first.
If you see that she keeps smiling at you, laughs at your jokes (even if they are not that funny), if she holds your gaze, plays with her hair, keeps leaning her body towards yours, those are all sings that you can play with these steps any way you wish and the outcome will most likely be positive J
Be sure to compliment her, say something funny and she won’t be able to resist giving out her number.
This might seem like rocket science, but it’s far from one, it is all a game of words, smiles and it is important to be comfortable.
In case you really like a girl and can’t afford to make a mistake, here is the list of the common ones that you might make if you are very nervous.
The only thing we ask of you is to have fun, play with the situation you are in, try to be confident as much as you can because that is what girls like.
Many of them like to be swiped off their feet and see that you really like them, and are not there just to play around and lead them on.
Have fun! 😉